March 02, 2019

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

It's called 'getting in over your head'. When you get yourself in trouble but instead of trying to repair the damage you just make things worse. We've all done it. The man in today's story did it. To the tune of $50,000. The first thing you do when you find yourself in a hole is stop digging. This guy traded in his shovel for a pickaxe.

60-year-old Robert Brandel had a brilliant idea. He wanted to bet on the last Super Bowl by buying a 'square' in an online pool. But more squares equals more opportunities to win. So Brandel made up some of the names in his Super Bowl Square in an attempt to take home most of the winnings himself. Instead he fell far short.

So he did what any crazy person who owes 50 thousand would do; he faked his own kidnapping.

According to Mr Brandel's version of events, he went to pick up the two men in his truck because they were involved in a Super Bowl Squares with him. Brandel said the men threatened him with a gun, stole $16,000 in cash and forced him to drive them around the western part of New York state for two days before tying him up and leaving him in a car park.

But New York State Police became dubious about his account.

"Further investigation and interviews revealed that this elaborate story was fabricated," they said in a statement.

Officer James O'Callaghan told local news that they became suspicious because Mr Brandel was clean-shaven "around his beard" and calm when they found him, despite it apparently being the third day of his abduction.

Officials now believe he was trying to get out of paying the 50k.

Mr. Brandel is due to appear in court later this month to face charges of fraud and filing a false police report.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email: lewis@gophercentral.com

What Happens When You Park In Front of a Hydrant?

A California driver got an important reminder about not parking next to hydrants when firefighters had to shatter two of their windows. The Anaheim Fire Department tweeted photos of a car after firefighters had to break both of its rear windows to run a hose through the vehicle to reach the hydrant. "Ever wonder what happens when a car is parked in front of a fire hydrant and a fire breaks out?" the tweet said. "Is a closer parking spot worth the broken windows and the citation and towing fees?" The department said there wasn't enough room to run the hose under the car, and running it over the top of the vehicle would have caused more damage than merely breaking the two windows. The vehicle was impounded and ticketed.

That's Gotta Be Some Kind of Record

Rhode Island police have arrested a man they say was driving under the influence when he struck more than 40 other vehicles. Police say 45-year-old Christopher Paolissi, of Foster, was "zig-zagging" his pickup truck when he struck 41 vehicles in Providence. Police say Paolissi was intoxicated, and he was driving about 15 mph when officers stopped him. He was hospitalized with non-life threatening injuries. No other injuries were reported. Police Chief Hugh Clements says officers are compiling a "lengthy report" due to the number of vehicles hit. Paolissi is facing multiple charges, including driving under the influence, reckless driving and failure to stop after an accident.

READER COMMENTS

Jesus Christ, people are assholes. Don't animals suffer enough? They're hunted, used for sport, slaughtered for food. Do they really have to suffer the humiliation of some Chinese guy fighting them? If I didn't love hamburgers so much I'd become a vegetarian.
[At least you're not a hypocrite.]

END OF READER COMMENTS