February 27, 2019

Good morning crew,

Having a fireplace is one of the few advantages of being a homeowner. We have been in the house for going on five years now, and I'm still struck by the novelty of having a lively, crackling fire INSIDE the house. Just last week the wife and I had a little picnic in the basement and made paninis over an open fire, and aside from the second degree burns is was very romantical.

The problem is that the basement takes on a wood smokey aroma for a few days after every fire. Even if I don't go out of my way to create a catastrophe like I did last year. Read: When your heart's on fire, smoke gets in your eyes.

While some people might like coming home to a log cabin every night, I like things to smell fresh and clean. That's why I always keep a jar of Safe-T-Air in the basement.

This is a product we picked up a couple years ago and it has turned into one of our best sellers. Safe-T-Air deodorizes the air naturally with tea tree oil. This essential oil is nature's most powerful antiseptic, anti-bacterial and deodorizer. Suspended in a thick gel, it slowly evaporates to gently circulate and clean indoor air.

I know what you're thinking, and I was a little skeptical myself until I tried it. Now, after every time we build a fire I leave a jar of Safe-T-Air open overnight and by the next day the basement smells fresh and clean. And it works just as well on damp, musty, moldy or stale smells.

If you're a smoker, this will revolutionize your living conditions.

Just click here if you'd like more details or to order yours.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A college student in Pennsylvania is suing her school for the C+ she got in a class. She said, 'I'm suing whoever's responsible for this!' And her professor said, 'Don't you mean WHOMEVER?'" -Jimmy Fallon

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"A recent report shows that pot smokers get into fewer car crashers than drunk people. Then again, it's easier to see what is coming when you're driving at 11 miles-an-hour." -Conan O'Brien

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"A restaurant here in New York has started selling a so-called 'New Yorker milkshake' which comes topped with whipped cream and a slice of cheesecake. Which means the next topping you'll get is a coffin lid." -Seth Meyers

When I was around 4 years old, I was biting my nails pretty badly and my mother showed me a picture of a child with a very swollen belly due to malnutrition. "That will happen to you if you keep biting your nails," she told me.

Later that week we were in the supermarket standing in line at the checkout counter behind a lady who was obviously 9 months pregnant. I pointed to her and, in a very loud voice, said, "We know what she has been doing don't we mommy?"

Have you ever seen your mother try to crawl under a cash register and hide?

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes

A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text;

"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you."

He replied, "I am on the toilet. Please advise."