February 25, 2019

Good morning crew,

When one of the customer service ladies got a customer question about our Gilmour Twist Power Flow Nozzle, she asked me about it, since I wrote the advertising copy (you didn't think writing Clean Laffs was the only thing I did around here, did you?). Summer is on its way and I guess people are already gearing up for it.

The customer wanted to know if the Nozzle produced a strong enough stream to wash dead bugs and bird poop of off the garage door and driveway. Well, I guess that's an important thing to know about your hose nozzle.

So I told her the nozzle does have a 'Jet' setting, but how hard the water comes out depends on the water pressure that comes out of the garden house.

At that the customer service girl commented, "Ugh, my garden hose totally sucks."

"No," I answered, "That's your vacuum cleaner. Your garden hose is the green one outside that squirts water."

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Astronomers say they now know the approximate weight of the Milky Way. They found this out by adding 10 pounds to the Milky Way's weight on its Tinder profile." -Conan O'Brien

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"A man in Georgia was arrested for stealing a Krispy Kreme doughnut truck and leading police on a high-speed chase. The police charged him with one count of grand theft irony." -Jimmy Fallon

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"A survey by the national retail foundation said that some people even give their fish Valentine's Day gifts. A good way to tell that you've lost your mind is if you give your fish a Valentine's Day gift." --Jimmy Kimmel

Even though there was a blizzard raging outside, I made it the half-mile to the bakery, where I asked the owner for six rolls.

"Your wife must love these rolls," he said.

"How do you know these are for my wife?" I asked.

"Because I'm pretty sure your mother would send you out in weather like this."

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes

One woman was talking to her friend, "You should listen to my neighbor," she says. "She is always bad-mouthing her poor husband behind his back. I think that's so rude. Look at me! My husband is fat, lazy, stupid and cheap; but have you ever heard me say a bad word about him?"