February 23, 2019

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

There is 'eating out' your ex-girlfriend, and then there is eating your ex-girlfriend. One will get you an awkward next morning with someone you thought you had ended a relationship with, the other will get you a lifetime in a metal and concrete cage while criminology experts examine you through a tiny window.

This Indiana man will not have to worry about having that awkward next morning conversation with his ex.

Clark County has charged 34-year-old Joseph Oberhansley with murder and abuse of a corpse in the death of 46-year-old Tammy Jo Blanton in September.

According to court documents, Oberhansley told police he broke into Blanton's home and killed and mutilated her, then ate her heart and parts of her brain and lung.

That's right; real, live Hannibal Lecter shit.

And if you think this story couldn't possible get any worse, Clark County Prosecutor Jeremy Mull just recently asked for a rape charge to be added. In Indiana, aggravated circumstances needed for a jury to consider the death penalty include rape, burglary and dismemberment.

I didn't think things could get much more aggravated than eating somebody's brains, but I guess I was wrong.


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STORY UPDATE: Defense attorneys plan to argue at trial that their client was insane at the time of the murder. Yeah, that'll probably work.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email: lewis@gophercentral.com

Nudists Plan Roller-Coaster World Record

A British nudist group is organizing an attempt at breaking the Guinness World Record by having more than 100 people ride a roller-coaster while naked. British Naturism said it is hoping at least 103 people will participate in the attempt to break the record for most naked riders on a theme park ride at Blackpool Pleasure Beach. The current record was set in 2010, when 102 naked people took a ride on the Green Scream roller-coaster at Adventure Island in Southend-on-Sea, Essex, England. The new attempt will take place on the notoriously bumpy Grand National roller-coaster. Participants are being asked to bring a bathrobe, flip-flops or tennis shoes, a towel to sit on and a bag to store their clothes. The record attempt will be followed by a "skinny dip" event at the Sandcastle Waterpark, which will allow people to ride the water slides in the buff for three hours.

Gorilla Arrested

A man wearing a gorilla costume last week broke into a Louisiana residence, according to cops who fought with the suspect after finding him hiding under a mattress. The investigation began when Sulphur City police got a call about a suspicious person in an all-black costume walking the streets and going into residents yards. When officers arrived on the scene they learned a male subject was looking through windows of homes and sneaking through yards. "Who goes around in a gorilla suit, peeking in windows?" said one resident. When officers located the suspect--later identified as Jeremie Joseph Moran, 34--he fled into a nearby residence, ignoring police demands to stop. During a subsequent search of the home, cops found Moran wearing a "black gorilla suit" investigators say. Moran tussled with cops trying to handcuff him, but he was eventually subdued and placed under arrest. He was charged with multiple offenses, including unauthorized entry of an inhabited dwelling, methamphetamine possession, resisting a police officer with violence or force, and wearing a mask or hood in public.

READER COMMENTS

It's hard to understand the current interpretation of the second amendment. There is certainly a different attitude about what it means now that when I was growing up. Imagine walking into a police station in the 50's or 60's and calmly explaining you needed a permit to carry a concealed gun because you just don't know when you might have to shoot someone. At best, they'd have looked at you oddly. At worst, you'd be talking to some folks in white coats.


Lewis, speaking of the @sshole who pulled a gun on a guy wearing a MAGA hat, did you see the video of the guy who punched a college kid because he was recruiting for a conservative group on some campus in California?
[I did. It was Berkeley and I think you have the story a little twisted. It was a student who punched an activist working with a conservative student group. Because we all know that the last place you want to allow free speech is a university campus.]

END OF READER COMMENTS