February 25, 2019

Good Morning Groanies,

My brother Joe and his wonderful wife Yue are expecting their first child in May. May is a good month.

The due date is a little over two months away and they still haven't decided on what to name their little one. Naming my kids was more difficult than I would have though, but come on gang, you gotta pick that kid a name.

From out-of-touch celebrities to the students that Stacy teaches, it seems that parents give their kids the weirdest names nowadays. Names like Brock Lee, Kris P., Harry Peter, Jenny Tayla, Jay Walker, Emma Roids, Justin Hale, Pepe Ronny, Owen Cash, even Sawyer Dickey. It's almost like parents forget that these kids have to live with these staggeringly odd, yet hilarious, monikers.

I hope they pick a good one. I like Emma Roids. It's got a nice ring to it.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Great One-Liners --*

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

*-- Anything You Want --*

A man came home from work and was greeted by his wife dressed in a teddy.

"Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."

So he tied her up and went out for a round of golf.

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What's the difference between a beer and a booger?

A: A beer goes on the table, a booger goes under it.


Q: What do bees chew?

A: Bumble gum.


Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?

A: Because their kids have to play inside!