February 24, 2019

Greetings Laff Lovers,

A study was just published in the Journal of Public Health in the United Kingdom which confirms what I have suspected for a long time; I'm straight.

Well, the study didn't say that exactly. It said that homos tend to be underweight, compared to straight men who are more likely to be overweight. And I have been overweight for at least 20 years. It didn't used to be so bad. 15, 16, or 17 years ago I was maybe 20 pounds over. But these last few years It's gotten worse. I don't want to say how much worse (because I don't want to embarrass myself), but let's just say the only time I see my dick anymore is when I'm totally erect.

And it makes a certain kind of sense. I've tasted semen before (my own, of course) and it did NOT make we want a cheeseburger. I imagine a steady diet of nut nectar would put any guy, gay or not, off his appetite. Imagine you're a gay guy and you're about to enjoy a big, fat bratwurst with spicy, brown mustard and grilled onions. As that weiner is moving towards your mouth suddenly you're thinking about dick, and the next thing you're thinking about is the taste of cum. Suddenly you're not hungry anymore. Makes perfect sense to me.


Yellow teeth got you blue? Night Bright Teeth Whitener will give you whiter, brighter teeth in 5 to 7 days, at home!


Interestingly, the study found that the exact opposite is true for lesbos. Gay women are at greater risk of being overweight than heterosexual women. You wouldn't think it judging by most of the lesbo porn you see online, but the actual numbers don't lie.

Unfortunately the study does not go into any reasons for this phenomenon. That would be fascinating to know. Is it because pussy looks (and kind of smells) like a fish taco? It is because lesbians don't have to work as hard to attract other lesbians?

Personally I like a woman with some curves, so apparently I have that in common with lesbians.

Heterosexually,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Is the air in your home making you sick? Get the Proven Mold Fighter >>

A young man went up to his father and asked him, "Can I have twenty bucks for a blow job?"

His father said, "I don't know. Are you any good?"



A redneck went to the hospital, as his wife was having a baby.

Upon arriving, he sat down as the nurse said to him, "Congratulations, your wife has had quadruplets, four big, healthy, baby boys."

The redneck said proudly, "I'm not surprised. I have a penis the size of a chimney."

The nurse replied, "Well, you might want to consider getting it cleaned. They're all black."



Very few people can brag about getting a handjob from their barber after a haircut these days. But then again, very few people cut their own hair either.

Little Johnny was late for class, and when he saw that the door was already closed, he opened it and went into the classroom tentatively. He very quietly shut the door and tiptoed to his seat hoping not to get the teacher after him.

This upset the teacher, who said him, "Johnny, is this how your father would have come in--late and sneaking to his seat? Go out and try it again!"

So, Little Johnny left the room and shut the door behind him quietly, as he'd come in.

Then a moment later, he flung open the door with a bang and stomped back into the room with a lit cigarette dangling from his lips. He slammed the door behind him, put his cigarette out on the carpet with his foot and said, "So Honey, didn't expect ME, did ya?"