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February 21, 2019

Greetings Laff Lovers,

Everybody knows I am something of a coffee connoisseur. Some might say a coffee addict, but it is true that rarely a day goes by that I don't have at least one cup. Usually several.

I was also a cigar smoker for many years; Romeo y Julietas, Arturo Fuentes, Camachos, Punches, Trinidads. It was an expensive habit, but I really enjoyed it. It was when I suffered a hacking, coughing fit after going down on my wife that I decided I had to give up smoking.

But all of those habits have consequences (smoking and drinking coffee, not going down on my wife), and the most visible consequence is dull, yellow teeth.

If you're like me and suffer yellow teeth from coffee, smoking, drinking wine, or maybe you just have a few decades under your belt and your teeth aren't as bright as they used to be, I have got something for you to try.

Click > Night Bright Teeth Whitener gives you professional results in a kit you use in the privacy of your own bathroom.

All it takes is a week, 15 or 20 minutes a day. Do it at night or in the morning. You'll begin to notice the difference within a couple of days.

The difference is the FDA-Approved LED light that expedites the bleaching and whitening process.

No irritation, no burning and no pain... just a white smile!

Let's face it, one of the first things people notice is your smile. So give 'em a good one.

Click this link for a quick video or to order.

Brightly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives



"On Valentine's Day, Americans spend $367 million on their pets. That seems like a waste. You don't need to wine and dine your dog. Either way, he's going to hump your leg." -Jimmy Kimmel



 
Learn more about RevenueStripe...
Hit the gym this morning, then had a nice shower.

I've just picked up a bottle of home brew from one of the neighbours for this afternoon.

I've got a few joints rolled up for the XBox tournament with the guys.

After that I'll fuck around online with some porn and gambling sites.

Then to finish off the perfect day, it's a nice blow job before I go to bed.

Fuck, I love prison!



"According to a new study, having sex in a hot tub could cause infections and rashes. Though if you're the kind of person who has sex in hot tubs, you probably brought a couple with you." -Seth Meyers



New products 2019A man, while playing on the front nine of a confusing golf course, became lost as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his predicament and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing.

She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole, and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole."

He thanked her and went back to his golf. On the back nine the same thing happened; and he approached her again with the same request. She said, "I'm on the 14th hole, you are one hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th hole."

Once again he thanked her and returned to his play. He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw the same lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often.

He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink for all your help. I understand that you are in the sales profession. I'm in sales, too. What do you sell?"

She replied, "If I tell you, you'll laugh."

"No, I won't."

"Well, if you must know," she answered, "I work for Tampax."

With that, he laughed so hard he almost lost his breath.

She said, "See, I knew you would laugh."

"That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied. "I'm a salesman for Preparation H, so I'm still a hole behind you!"