February 18, 2019

Good Morning Groanies,

I have never been a do-it-yourself, Mr-Fix-It kind of guy when it comes to home repairs and things of that nature, it's scary. But when a pipe burst, due to the freezing cold temperatures, it's best to leave it to the professionals.

When our pipe did burst it was Stacy who stayed cool and told me to shut off the water as she called a plumber. So I stopped inflating the two-person rubber raft, took off my life-preserver, and shut it down.

The plumber showed up, located the breaks (4 breaks actually), and replaced the broken pieces of pipe and the water was back on so we could drink, wash, and flush like always.

I was quite amazed by the whole process and started to think that I should start learning how to fix household problems all by myself, and not be so scared when trouble rears its ugly head. So I'll never put on a life jacket again.

Maybe I'll blow up that raft just in case. Hey, you never know.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- You Got $2? --*

A bum asks a man for $2.

The man asked, "Will you buy booze?"

The bum said, "No."

The man asked, "Will you gamble it away?"

The bum said, "No."

Then the man asked, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"

*-- Feminist on the Bus --*

A radical feminist was getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man got up from his seat.

She thought to herself, "Here's another man trying to keep up the customs of a patriarchal society by offering a poor, defenseless woman his seat," and she pushed him back onto the seat.

A few minutes later, the man tried to get up again.

She was insulted again and refused to let him up.

Finally, the man said, "Look, lady, you've got to let me get up. I'm two miles past my stop already!"

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?

A: Because it wasn't peeling well!


Q: How do basketball players stay cool during games?

A: They sit by their fans!


Q: Why did the robber take a bath?

A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway!