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February 14, 2019

Greetings Laff Lovers,

 
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So today is Valentine's Day. What a load of crap. The whole purpose of Valentine's Day is to separate you from your money. If you want to show your woman you appreciate her, drag her into the bedroom, strip her naked, tie her to the headboard and fuck her right in the ass. Because the worst thing you can do to a woman is to let her think that she is no longer the object of your desire.

Every woman wants to be a sexual object. It's hard-wired into their brains. They get off on the power of being able to reduce men to sexually-driven puppets.

If you keep your woman lubed up to the point where it's sore when she crosses her legs, she will be your willing slave. Drag her downtown for a two hundred dollar meal and fifty bucks worth of flowers? Fuck that.


If you want to get the woman in your life somethig she'll really enjoy, try these incredibly soft Sherpa Mink Throws. If anything will make her want to cuddle with you, it'll be one of these.

Click here for a short video of the girls in the office going nuts over these things.


And if you're waiting until February 14th to take your woman out and spend a little money on her you've already fucked it up. If she's worth the effort she should be worth the effort more frequently than once a year. If the only time she gets a little romance is on Valentine's Day it's no wonder you never get blow jobs.

Educationally,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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A newspaper editor received this note from a reader:

"My wife was about to file for a divorce when she read the article in your paper about the importance of giving second chances in making a marriage work. So she changed her mind about the divorce. Effective today, cancel my subscription to your paper."



A man invites his friend back home for dinner. The wife pulls him into the bedroom and hisses at him, "I haven't fixed my hair, done my make-up, I haven't even done any housework much less cook any dinner! Why the fuck did you invite him around for?"

"Because he's thinking about getting married."



My goodness!" complained the wife to her husband, "I come home with a little cum in my hair and right away you jump to conclusions."



NewAllProductsA young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday. As they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic, but not too personal.

He took along his girl's younger sister for advice, and together they went to the department store and bought a pair of gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself.

During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note:

"I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears short ones that are easier to remove.

"I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again.

"When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.

"I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night!"

All my love.