February 09, 2019
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
In the 2000 Guy Ritchie movie 'Snatch' the character Brick Top gives the following advice;
"Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, 'as greedy as a pig'."
You might think that is complete bullshit, or at least pig shit, but apparently one poor woman in Russia proved the hard way that hungry pigs will eat just about anything.
A Russian farmer who may have suffered an epileptic seizure and collapsed into her pig pen was eaten by her pigs, according to reports citing Russian media.
The woman, 56, was feeding the animals in a village in the central Russian region when she fainted and fell into the pig pen.
The husband went to bed early the day before her death, because he was not feeling well, but he awoke to find his wife missing, the report said. He then discovered what was left of her body in the pen.
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Claw Machine Claims Another Toddler
How many times are we going to have to see this story before we come to our senses and ban these baby-eating claw machines? An Alabama 2-year-old was rescued from a restaurant's claw machine when he crawled inside to try to get a toy. Kelsey Ingersoll said her son, Ezra, was playing with his siblings and some friends' children in the game room at Rotolo's Pizzeria in Fairhope when she lost sight of the boy. "I had been checking on the kids every couple of minutes to make sure they were still playing nicely and all of a sudden, my daughter ran over to me and said Ezra was in the machine," Ingersoll said. "It literally took him seconds!" It turned out no one at the eatery had the key to open the machine, so police and firefighters were called to the scene. The emergency responders were able to take the machine apart and pull out the toddler, who remained calm during the whole incident. Ingersoll said Ezra was allowed to keep the toy he climbed inside the machine to retrieve. Well, that's just incentivizing the problem, right there.
Those Vacation Photos are Shit
If this isn't a lesson for the need to control pollution, nothing is. New Zealand researchers examining a leopard seal's fecal sample that had been frozen for a year made a surprising discovery -- a working USB thumb drive. The New Zealand National Institute of Water and Atmospheric Research said a volunteer thawed out a scat sample and discovered the leopard seal had apparently passed the USB drive through its digestive system. Researchers said the scat sample had been collected in November 2017 from a leopard seal on Oreti Beach in Invercargill. The NIWA said researchers plugged in the USB drive and were surprised to discover it still works and contains photo and videos from an unknown person's vacation. NIWA officials said they would like to return the USB drive to its owner, but for a price -- they want a replacement leopard seal stool sample.
Lewis, the jogger had to have been married before. How else could he have won the fight? -Scott
That sausage hotel must be the wurst hotel in Germany.
I really don't think it would be that hard to get a dog to jump out of a plane. If I leave the window in my car even half open my stupid dog would jump right out into the middle of traffic.
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