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February 10, 2019

Greetings Laff Lovers,

 
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I walked in on the wife the other day struggling with the ironing board. She usually keeps it folded up and out of the way behind the laundry room door and only pulls it out on the rare occasion something actually needs ironing, like one of my dress shirts or a blouse she's planning on wearing.

She was pulling and yanking on the thing when she saw me and declared, "TZ, you need to go out and buy me a new ironing board. It's almost impossible to get this thing's legs open."

"Now you know what I have to deal with," I responded.

"What was that?" she shot back.

"I said, I can do you one better." And the next day I brought her home one of the Hand-Held Fabric Steamers that we have been selling like hotcakes on PulseTV.com.

This little sucker practically eliminates ironing. It heats up in just a couple minutes and then you blast wrinkles away with hot steam instead of a big, heavy, scalding hot iron. And the best part; NO IRONING BOARD.

Just hang up whatever garment you have that's all wrinkled and get to steaming. It's faster than ironing, safer, and you can do it anywhere. It's so easy and effective, that I'VE even started steaming my clothes.

Click the link for a great little video that will show you just how easy using the Fabric Steamer is.

Click here to watch the video or to order.

Problem-solvingly,

TZ

Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: tz@gophercentral.com

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I heard my neighbor fucking for what seemed like ages last night, moaning, groaning and banging the headboard off the wall. Turns out her elderly mother had fallen and broken a hip and was knocking on the wall with her stick for help. I kind of feel guilty about jerking off now.



A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.

The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, "What is your occupation?"

The woman replies, "I'm a whore."

The accountant balks and says, "No, no. That will never work. Let's try to rephrase that."

The woman, "Ok, I'm a prostitute."

"No, that is still too crude."

They both think for a minute, then the woman states, "Ok, say I'm a chicken farmer."

The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?"

"Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year."



"So many homophobes turn out to be secretly gay themselves, that I'm starting to worry that I'm really a giant spider." Unknown Facebook post



Closeout ClearA fight breaks out at a Redneck wedding, chairs are flying and women are crying.

The police show up and arrest all the men involved in the scuffle. They all are brought to the courthouse and all you hear is chatter. "Order in my court", screams the judge. "Can someone come up and please explain what happened?"

Ol' Johnny-boy speaks up, "Well you sees judge, at a Redneck wedding, it's tradition for the best man to have a dance with the bride. So I gets up there and I'm dancing with the bride. She was grinding up on me you see and Tommy the groom didn't take too kindly to that. So Tommy walks up and kicks her right in the pussy!"

"Right in the pussy?" The judge cringes, "That must have hurt."

Johnny says, "Hurt? Broke three of ma fingers!"