February 07, 2019
Greetings Laff Lovers,
Do you remember the story from a couple years ago about the teenager from Massachusetts who talked her boyfriend into committing suicide? Yep, after dozens of texts and phone calls from her, the poor bastard shut himself in a running pickup truck until he died from carbon monoxide poisoning.
That little sweetheart is Michelle Carter. She was found guilty of involuntary manslaughter and sentenced to 15 months in jail, but remained free during her appeal.
Well, she popped up in the news again because her appeal was just denied and a judge has ordered her to begin serving her sentence.
It made me think; 15 months for talking a guy into killing himself. Is that fair? At least she was open and up front about it. And it only took her a few weeks. Most women make men want to kill themselves through much more subliminal methods that often take years of torture to accomplish.
It's like that old joke; 'Why do men die earlier than women? Because they want to.'
Where are all those convictions?
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Ladies; when confronted by a dangerous man, tell him about your feelings, your hopes and dreams, your anxiety, your relationship troubles, and how male-dominated society has let you down. He will go home and kill himself.
Here is something that is completely obvious, but most people just don't take the time to think about;
"Dog food lid" spelled backwards is "dildo of God."
Think about it.
WHEN YOU SUCK do it through a stainless steel straw. A set of 4 straws made out of food-grade 304 stainless steel will last basically forever, so you never have to throw away a disposable plastic straw again.
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After seven years of training and hard work in the medical fields, a very good friend of mine was fired after one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his clients and can now no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, effort, training and money. A genuinely nice guy and just a brilliant veterinarian.
Dentist to a patient sitting in his chair: This is probably going to hurt.
Patient: What's wrong? Is it bad?
Dentist: It isn't good. Maybe you should brace yourself.
Patient: I can take it.
Dentist: I'm sleeping with your wife.