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February 06, 2019

Good Morning Groanies,

 
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I can't avoid washing my hands, especially with kids at home, and it's "cold and flu season" people! Germs are everywhere!!! And with the cold weather, my hands tend to suffer.

I've really tried to take measures to help my mitts. Mostly I've been rubbing in moisturizer whenever I can. It seems to help, but a think it might do more harm than good.

I put on so much lotion the other day that when I put my hand down and leaned on the kitchen counter I slid right off and fell. It looked like a classic Kramer bit from 'Seinfeld'.

Don't worry though, I'm okay now. The doctor said that my head broke my fall. What?!?! PANCAKES!!!

Groaningly yours,
Steve


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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- "Husband Wanted" --*

A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband wanted".

Next day she received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."



*-- Funny Book Titles and Authors --*

BS 2018"Home Maintenance"....by Duane Pipe

"Growing up in the Balkans".....by Hugo Slavia

"Irish Winter Tales".....by Pete Moss

"Increase Your Brain Power"....by Sarah Bellum

"Looking Into the Wishing Well"....by Eileen Dover

"How to Write a Mystery Novel"....by Page Turner

"I Got Away With Murder"....by Scott Free

"Winning Big".....by Jack Potts

"Vacation Spot in the Tropics"....by Sandy Beech

"I Always Enjoy the Darkness"....by Gladys Knight

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What happens to a refrigerator when you pull its plug?

A: It loses its cool.


Q: What did King Tut say when he was scared?

A: I want my mummy!


Q: What washes up on small beaches?

A: Microwaves.

*-- Reader Comment --*

On the questions about do you want to have sex? I've never heard the excuses, but I did use them. No name, please
[It's usually the opposite for me. Never used 'em, never heard 'em.]