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January 30, 2019

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

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What I want to know is why so many people in Alaska are carrying around swords and axes? You would think this kind of thing would be discouraged, but apparently in a state where bear attacks are as common as bar fights carrying this kind of equipment is de rigueur.

Unfortunately, when two medieval-armed Alaskans butt heads in the food court at the local mall, steel will be drawn and blood will spill. But I'm still a little confused on where the ax appeared from.

According to Anchorage police, the two men who appeared to know each other, got into an argument in the 5th Avenue Mall's food court. Mall security separated the two, and escorted one of them out of the mall. But he returned to the food court, and the fight continued, police said.

At that point, police say, the man who had remained at the food court drew a knife and stabbed the other man in the upper body. The victim, in turn, "was able to grab a sword from the suspect and swung it," causing a superficial wound on his leg, police said.

"The two continued their confrontation down to the third floor when they became separated," police wrote.

Shortly after that, two officers in the parking garage saw "an adult male with an ax and swords," who began to run, according to police. Officers had caught him and taken him into custody when they heard a call from dispatch stating that there had been a stabbing in the mall, with a suspect description that matched the man they had apprehended, police said.


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Built Like a Shit Brick House

An estimated 1.5 trillion bricks are produced globally evry year. That's a lot of bricks. And they take about 3.13 billion cubic metres of clay soil to make. You can imagine the environmental impact of digging up 3.13 billion cubic metres of clay soil every year. But researchers from Australia's RMIT University have found an alternative for a lot of that material: shit. 'Biosolids' actually. It's what is leftover once sewage is drained of water, treated, and dried. Much of it is sent to landfills to rot, but these Australian eggheads (of should I say, shitheads) say a whopping 15 percent of that biosolid could go into brick production which would reduce the carbon footprint of brick manufacturing while satisfying all the environmental and engineering requirements for bricks. Plus, biosolid bricks are more porous than standard bricks, making them better insulators. So what do you think? Would you be comfortable living in a shit brick house?

'French Spider-Man' Detained in Philippines

GadgetsA climber known as the "French Spider-Man" was detained by police in the Philippines after climbing a high-rise building without safety equipment. Alain Robert, 56, aka the "French Spider-Man," was detained by police in Makati after reaching the top of the 43-story GT International Tower. Witnesses said it took Robert about an hour and a half to compete the climb after starting on the ground at 11 a.m. Police said they are considering pressing charges of trespassing or public disturbance. Robert said he believes the police should release him without charges. "There isn't any scandal. I know they're trying to charge me for trespass, but for me, trespassing is entering into the property, which I didn't," Robert told CNN Philippines. Robert, who has been climbing buildings for about 20 years, has been arrested around 120 times for similar unsanctioned stunts. His previous climbs include Petronas Towers in Kuala Lumpur and the Burj Khalifa in Dubai.


LEWIS; Back when I delivered pizza in 1970 I was making a delivery to a house where each person in the house claimed they made no order. When I walked back to my car with that pizza in hand I discovered my window broken and food for other deliveries as well as personal items in my car stolen. I returned to pizzeria demanding my pay for the night and quit. I got home with that unordered pizza still in the car so I did get a free pizza out of the robbery & my insurance covered most of cost of the busted window. -R.S.
[If only you had a sword that night.]

I emailed you yesterday to say I couldn't find the Poll. Well, I guess I was having a blond day and didn't look hard enough. I did find it, and I voted. I thought after I turned grey I'd stop the blond days, but I guess it doesn't happen that way.
[Thanks for participating. I have often told people, 'I'm not turning gray, I'm turning blonde.' Nobody seems to buy it.]

That guy who let his friend shoot him in the chest must be the California version of, 'Hold my beer and watch this.' That doesn't sound like the action of a sober person to me.