Subscibe to DEAL OF THE DAY

January 30, 2019

Good Morning Groanies,

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I've been fighting a horrendous head cold for a week or so. I'm the heavy bag and this cold is Mike Tyson after three pots of coffee.

I haven't felt this bad, health wise, in quite some time. I felt so bad the other day that my brain and my body took a vote and decided that I must have myself a nap. So I did.

I climbed into bed, fully clothed, and was asleep the very moment that my head hit the pillow. After a 90 minute nap I woke up to discover that I had on completely different clothes and was sleeping at the foot of the bed wrapped up in the covers like a burrito. Weird, right?

Maybe I was dreaming about burritos or a fashion show or who the heck knows... either way, nothing beats a good nap.

Groaningly yours,

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Putting Up A Fight --*

A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight!

Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet.

Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said, "Why did you put up such a fight?"

To which the man promptly replied, "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"

*-- What Happened To Her Ears? --*

GadgetsA blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears?

"I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."

"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But, what happened to your other ear?"

"The son-of-a-bitch called back!"

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?

A: Rough! Rough!

Q: Why is it so hard to fool a snake?

A: Because you can't pull its leg.

Q: Why did the watch stop?

A: He was running fast all week.