January 30, 2019
Good Morning Groanies,
I've been fighting a horrendous head cold for a week or so. I'm the heavy bag and this cold is Mike Tyson after three pots of coffee.
I haven't felt this bad, health wise, in quite some time. I felt so bad the other day that my brain and my body took a vote and decided that I must have myself a nap. So I did.
I climbed into bed, fully clothed, and was asleep the very moment that my head hit the pillow. After a 90 minute nap I woke up to discover that I had on completely different clothes and was sleeping at the foot of the bed wrapped up in the covers like a burrito. Weird, right?
Maybe I was dreaming about burritos or a fashion show or who the heck knows... either way, nothing beats a good nap.
P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives
Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve
*-- Putting Up A Fight --*
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight!
Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet.
Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said, "Why did you put up such a fight?"
To which the man promptly replied, "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"
*-- What Happened To Her Ears? --*
A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears?
"I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But, what happened to your other ear?"
"The son-of-a-bitch called back!"
*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
A: Rough! Rough!
Q: Why is it so hard to fool a snake?
A: Because you can't pull its leg.
Q: Why did the watch stop?
A: He was running fast all week.