Subscibe to DEAL OF THE DAY

January 28, 2019

Good Morning Groanies,

NEW BestSellersMy hands hurt from shoveling all of that snow that the Midwest got hammered with over the weekend so I'm going to take things easy. My kingdom for a snowblower!

Please, enjoy the jokes and stay warm. It's so nasty out there. What's with that Mother Nature lady? Who spit gum in her hair?

Groaningly yours,

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Guess What I Heard? --*

"Guess what I heard today?" a man says to his wife.

"What, hon?" she asks.

"The mailman has seduced every woman on our block but one."

"Huh," his wife says, "I bet it's that stuck-up Phyllis next-door."

*-- Gotta Light? --*

Learn more about RevenueStripe...
There are three guys in a boat with four cigarettes. They have no matches or anything and were trying to come up with a way to smoke their cigarettes.

"I got it!" said the one guy as he threw one of his cigarettes overboard.

"Why did you do that?" yelled his buddy.

To which he replied, "To make the boat a little lighter."

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

A: The players dribble a lot.

Q: Why is tennis such a loud game?

A: Because each player raises a racquet.

Q: What is a boxer's favorite drink?

A: Punch.

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