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January 26, 2019

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Closeout ClearA group of males with swords robbed two different pizza delivery men over the weekend at the same address in Spring Grove Village neighborhood of Cincinnati, according to police reports.

The first man was delivering for Domino's on Saturday night when four males with swords approached him, police said. One suspect held a sword to the man's throat and took money from his pockets. The attackers fled on bicycles.

In a separate incident, another man encountered a group of three sword-wielding males Sunday night while delivering pizza for LaRosa's.

While investigating that robbery, police were told by a neighbor that several of his swords were recently stolen from his home.

Earlier this week police arrested a suspect in connection with the two incidents. The arrest was at the suspect's grandmother's home, said Lt. Dan Ogilvie. The house is also where the robberies occurred.

Considering the brilliance of the cunning plan it is not surprising that the suspect is 13-years-old.

Police are still searching for two more suspects.


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Have you heard about the 'conflict' between the MAGA kid and the native American demonstrator at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C.? I haven't been able to stop reading about it. I would love to hear your opinion. I put a poll on Read the rest of the story at: www.bizarrenews.com.

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Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email: lewis@gophercentral.com


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Driving Under The Influence of Whipped Cream?

A woman was charged with driving under the influence after consuming whipped cream. Police said that 28-year-old Anna Thomas of Franklin, Tennessee, used cans of aerosol whipped cream to get high. She was charged with driving under the influence after crashing her car. When police arrived, Thomas was disoriented. Officers found 13 cans of whipped cream scattered inside the vehicle. Almost all of the bottles were empty. No pie was discovered.

With Friends Like This Who Needs Enemies?

 
Learn more about RevenueStripe...
There are friends, and there are friends. Then there are friends like Elijah Ray Lambert who will willingly shoot you in the chest. Lambert was friends with the late Miguel Martinez of Citrus Heights, California. Somewhere Miguel got hold of a bullet proof vest and decided he wanted to test it to see if it would really stop a bullet. But why put it on a mannequin or tie it to a tree when you can put it on yourself? As long as you have a friend like Lambert who is willing to pull the trigger for you. Deputies arrested Lambert for the shooting, but the Sacramento County Sheriff's Department has characterized the incident as an "unintentional killing". Martinez's brother reported that, "The bullet had actually penetrated the top of his vest," indicating that not only does Lambert have bad judgment, he is also a lousy shot. The pair were with two other friends, the police said. The group initially reported the shooting as a robbery but later confessed it was an accident.

READER COMMENTS

Speaking of dreams, I have reached a stage in life where I have dry dreams and wet farts. See, you do have something to look forward to! All the best. -Bill


Something seems 'off' about the last Bizarre News story. If the guy was pissed off at his WIFE for damaging one of his collectible action figures, why did he destroy his own TV? Or was it his wife's TV? Does he and his wife have separate television sets?


Unfortunately, the cops cannot ignore those kinds of threats. They have to take everyone seriously, even if it means staking out an empty house. That's why those 'SWATTING' pranks are so dangerous.

END OF READER COMMENTS