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January 23, 2019

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Last ChanceThey damage one of your dolls, you put an ax through the TV screen. THAT'S the Wisconsin way.

Hey, men as a sex have been losing a lot of ground lately. You've seen the Gillette commercial. We can no longer harass and objectify women in public, use violence to solve our problems, emotionally abandon our children, or cook out, apparently. We have to preserve what we have left. And one of those things is to obsess over our particular manias; like collectibles. And when it comes to collectible toys, everybody knows that when you take them out of their original packaging they lose a lot of their value. So when a Madison, Wisconsin man's wife damaged one of his action figures, he let a little of his toxic masculinity slip, along with an axe.

A Wisconsin man was arrested Sunday night after police in Madison said he took an ax to smash his car, television set and laptop computer after he believed his wife damaged his action figures.

According to Madison police Chief Mike Koval, the man, 34, was charged with disorderly conduct and felony damage to property and booked into the Dane County Jail.

According to police, the man called 911 around 10 p.m. Sunday and said he used an ax to destroy a TV, a TV stand, a laptop computer and several items in the house. The man then went outside and chopped off both mirrors of the family car. The man, who said he had been drinking, smashed the ax into the windshield so hard that it became embedded in the glass.

The man told police he overreacted after he thought his 46-year-old wife had damaged "some of his prized property," which included action figures.

The damages were estimated to be approximately $5,000. The damage to the doll was not reported.


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Nice Work If You Can Get It

A Pennsylvania police department is seeking volunteers willing to "drink hard liquor to the point of inebriation" for a training exercise. The Kutztown Police Department said in a Facebook post it is seeking three volunteers to help with a training event designed to teach officers how to administer Standardized Field Sobriety Tests during suspected DUI incidents. "Alcohol will be provided however you will not receive any compensation for your time," the department said. The post said volunteers should be between the ages of 25 and 40, have a clean criminal history and "be willing to drink hard liquor to the point of inebriation." The department said the volunteers should also arrange for someone sober to take responsibility for them after the event.

Police Have 3-hour Standoff With Empty House

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A nearly three-hour standoff with police at a Bethlehem, Pa. home turned out to be at an empty house. The incident began when the father of a man who lives at the house called 911 and said he thought his son had been shot by his wife. Police surrounded the house and ordered nearby residents to shelter in place. After about two-and-a-half hours, the man returned to the house and said he had been out for a walk. The shelter-in-place order was lifted shortly before 11 p.m. Police reported the man's wife had left the house before they arrived. The man was taken to a hospital for evaluation.


Lewis, I rarely remember my dreams, but on several I have stopped the dream for incredulous content and forced the 'actors' to do retakes. They are more cohesive after my edits. Perhaps that's why I don't have many dreams, I'm a perfectionist and not easy on those I direct.
[You know, Freud (or Zigi as his friends called him) believed that you represent everyone in your dreams. Maybe you have an inferiority complex.]

LEWIS; That fool who jumped off of the RCCL ship should indeed be banned by the cruise-line but why were his innocent companions also banned? Did they participate in any way? I guess if they did the instagram filming they did participate. I pity the fools. -R.S.

Lewis, I had to look up Rule 36 and that led me down one weird rabbit hole. If you think a quadriplegic performing gay sex is bizarre, you should see naked women having cold lunch meat thrown at them. I'm just saying; bizarre is relative.
[I won't argue with you there.]