Subscibe to DEAL OF THE DAY

January 21, 2019

Good Morning Groanies,

Deals2018I'm going to be brief because I'm still attempting to shovel my way out of the house. We got several many lots of inches or feet of snow over the weekend, too much if you ask me.

I need more snow like I need more body hair. I think I'm sasquatchie enough, thank you very much.

So, put your laughing hats on and prepare to chuckle!

Groaningly yours,

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Did He Get Anything? --*

"Get this." said one drinker to his friends at the bar, "Last night while I was here with you guys, a burglar broke into my house."

"Did he get anything?" his friends asked.

"Yeah, a broken jaw, two teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken nuts. The wife thought it was me coming home drunk."

*-- How Old Are You? --*

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A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.

"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"

"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."

"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?'

"Twenty-six," he said.

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What dance was invented by Charles Dickens?

A: The Oliver Twist!

Q: Why are scarecrows always winning awards?

A: Because they're outstanding in their fields!

Q: What has one horn and gives milk?

A: A milk truck.