Subscibe to DEAL OF THE DAY

January 14, 2019

Good Morning Groanies,

Sale 99centTo all of the former Mouthpiece subscribers: I welcome you to the Daily Groaner and anything that Carl told you about me is probably all lies and untruths. I'm really glad you're here and if you're ready to laugh...I am so sorry. But, if you are ready the groan and shake your head in shame at the terrible jokes that I have selected for you today then... prepare yourself for Carnival!

I, Steve, am your activities director for all bad jokes that grandpas, dads, and general old geezers like to tell over and over at various gatherings that they were mistakenly invited to because of some unfortunate blood relation.

Today, I have jokes about a foolish pilot, a lion, a banker, pampered cows, and bees you can milk. Yep, it's gonna be one of those days.

Again, welcome former Mouthpiece-ers and enjoy your transmogrification into the hilarious group known as the GROANIES. I'm so glad that you're here.

Groaningly yours,

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Guess Who? --*

A young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool and show who was boss on the aviation frequencies. So, this was his first time approaching a field during the nighttime. Instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said: "Guess who?"

The controller switched the field lights off and replied: "Guess where!"

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Learn more about RevenueStripe...
Q: Why did the banker quit his job?

A: He lost interest!

Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?

A: Spoiled milk!

Q: What kind of bees make milk?


*-- An Eater and A Reader --*

A hungry African lion came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him.

Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.