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January 05, 2019

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Inventory2018In space no one can hear you scream, but they can hear you call 911 Emergency. How good is your cell service? Recently Dutch physician and ESA astronaut Andre Kuipers tried to call home from the International Space Station, but it's hard pressing those little numbers in zero gravity. Kuipers missed out a number when making a call through HQ back on Earth - and ended up connecting to US emergency services.

The astronomical blunder sparked panic at the Johnson Space Centre in Texas and a security team was scrambled to the room where the call was put through. Oblivious to the chaos he caused, the dutchman said he only realized his error when he received an email the following day.

"The next day I received an email message: 'Did you call 911?'" Kuipers joked: "I was a little disappointed that they had not come up."

The astronaut explained how it is surprisingly easy to communicate with earth while on board the ISS. He said that calls worked 70 per cent of the time - but that huge time delays were a struggle.


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'Why Won't You Die?'

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Rhys Howard of Perth, Australia, screamed so loudly while he was killing a spider that police were called to his house. A concerned resident called police after they heard Howard shouting "why won't you die?" along with a child screaming. Howard, despite being scared of spiders, killed it using a diaper -- as his partner Kara was in the shower. His daughter, the child heard screaming, was nearby. "The first thing I could grab was a nappy... so I was on the floor saying 'why won't you die', and screaming and my daughter was screaming in the playroom," Howard told local news. Howard described how shocked he was to see police at his door. Howard also said his fear of spiders comes from having one land on his head as a child.

Butt Gun

Deputies at the Lafourche Parish Jail in Louisiana found a gun concealed in the buttocks of a man during a search. Police spotted suspicious activity at the home of Lori Dupuy on December 28. When the officers approached to investigate, Dupuy gave a false name and then fled the scene. The officers then questioned Justin Savoie, who was also at the home. During a pat down of Savoie, officers discovered a concealed handgun, marijuana, and a pipe used for smoking marijuana. While Savoie was undergoing a strip search during his processing, deputies found a small gun concealed in his buttocks. Savoie was charged with first offense possession of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia, and improper registration of a firearm. Surprisingly he was NOT charged with improper transportation of a firearm. Maybe keeping a gun up your butt is legal in Louisiana. The caliber and make of the gun has not been released.
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Lewis, I don't understand, was the marijuana cigar wrapped in gold leaf? If so, how did it burn? Seems like a waste of good money to me. In my neighborhood you can buy an eighth ounce for about 15 bucks. -Duke
[Bizarre News readers: please do NOT contact me asking for Duke's email address.]

Lewis: I can't see spending $11,000 for weed, but I can see spending that much on Funyuns, mini donuts, and Pepperidge Farm Cookies when the munchies kick in! --Harold

A 15-pound baby! That poor woman. She's never going to be the same. I feel for her poor husband too. Because she's never going to be the same.