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January 07, 2019

Good Morning Groanies,

Sale 99centI recently watched the Chuck Norris movie Silent Rage (1982) for the first time. It wasn't bad. A day or two after that initial viewing I was thinking about the numerous Chuck Norris movies that have yet to be made. The plots I'm sure would be fairly similar, but the titles are what really sell pictures these days. Here are a few of the most awesomest sounding Chuck Norris movies of all-time!

Walker 'Don't Mess With' Texas Ranger

A Fist For Your Face

Your Ass Was Made For Kicking

Octagon 2: Roundhouse Boogaloo

Laura Ingalls Wilder-Norris' Roundhouse On The Praire

Delta Force: The Kickening

Good Guys Wear Black 2: Bad Guys Wear Black and Blue

The Hitman 2 - Man-Hitter

and Lone Wolf McQuade - the animated remake where Norris plays a wolf that battles a gang of gruff woodland creatures for a scenic area of a National Park.

You can almost picture the movie posters when you read the titles, am I right?

Groaningly yours,
Steve


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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- French Fry Needs A Drink --*

A french fry walks into the bar and says to the bartender, "Hey, could I get a beer please?"

The bartender looks at him shacking his head and says, "No, we don't serve food here."

*-- The Old Snake and the Doctor --*

 
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(It might seem like there are so grammatical errors and typos in this joke, but I wrote it just as my grandpa used to tell it to me when I was a kid.)

A old snake goes to see his Doctor.

"Doc, I need something for my eyes... can't see well these days". The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.

The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed.

Doc says, "What's the problem... didn't the glasses help you?"

"The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What do dogs wear to science class?

A Lab coats.


Q: What does a gingerbread man use to make his bed?

A: Cookie sheets.

(Jokes courtesy of Skora)