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January 02, 2019

Good Morning Groanies,

Top SellersI've been stressed lately so my sleep has been a little hit and miss. And when I miss out on sleep I have a tendency to talk in my sleep when the sandman does pay me a visit. Apparently, I was gabbing again... so I was told.

Stacy said she woke up and heard me making noises. She thought that I was talking to her. She asked me if I was okay, but I didn't answer. She asked again, a bit louder the second time, "Are you okay?!"

Then, out of the blue, I said, "I'm a fan of nachos and harmonicas. But you can keep the pleated pants."

I don't know what I was dreaming about or thinking about, or even if I was dreaming or thinking, you never can tell with me, but at least I didn't say something like, "I like the way angora feels against my skin...", or " the neighbor's baby offered me a cigarette...", or "the toaster still owes me 12 bucks", and so on.

Hey, talk is cheap. And, right now, it's all I can afford.

Groaningly yours,

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Backseat Barker --*

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked.

"It sure is," I replied.

Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

*-- That's Horrible! --*

Learn more about RevenueStripe...
A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says, "Two Brazilian men died in a skydiving accident."

The blonde starts crying and says to her husband while sobbing, "That's horrible! So many men dying that way!"

Confused the husband replies "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved."

After a few minutes, still sobbing, she says, "So how many is a Brazilian?"

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What do you call a dog with no hind legs and steel testicles?

A: Sparky.

Q: What do you call a huge pile of cats?

A: A Meowtain!

Q: How do you get an 80 year old lady to use the F-word?

A: Have another 80 year old lady yell Bingo!

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