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December 26, 2018

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

After ChristmasThey may not be the most law-abiding in Colorado, but at least they have the Christmas spirit. When a suspect wearing a "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" mask was caught on camera stealing several items from a Fort Collins business, the Fort Collins police were not about to be outdone in Christmas spirit. They began looking for the Rudolph imposter they dubbed "Burglarudolph".

They shared the security camera footage on Facebook, asking for help identifying the suspect, who about halfway through the video removes her disguise. Police also shared a rewritten version of the song "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" to help in the search efforts:

"Rudolph the Red Nosed Burglar
Had a very shady scheme
And if you saw the video
It would want to make you scream.

All of the other burglars
Used to steal without disguise
They weren't like this Rudolph
She’s different from the other guys.

On one foggy December eve
Rudolph came to steal.
Broke into a Hickory shop,
Never expected to see a cop.

Oh how the camera caught her
As she committed burglary
Rudolph the Red Nosed Criminal
We need your help with her I.D."


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World's Largest Christmas Ornament

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A mall in the United Arab Emirates was awarded a Guinness World Record for a Christmas bauble ornament with a 15-foot, 4-inch diameter. Guinness announced the ornament at the Dubai Mall, which also holds the record for world's largest shopping center, was declared the largest Christmas bauble ornament after being measured by official adjudicators. The 2,425-pound bauble, located in the mall's Star Atrium, was designed by U.S. firm Venus Arts and took two days to be assembled. "The Guinness World Records title for the world's largest festive bauble ornament at The Dubai Mall highlights our commitment to creating fun, compelling and memorable experiences for our visitors," said Rebecca Jobo, head of the Dubai Mall. "This imposing creation has been astounding visitors with its sheer size, creating a must-see Instagram moment for everyone to enjoy."

Trappers Capture 'Monster' Gator in Florida

A pair of trappers captured a behemoth 12-foot alligator discovered by divers working on a project at a private property in Florida. Jim Cutway, a licensed alligator trapper and owner of Myakka's Gold Apiary, said he and another Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission responded to the property in Parrish after divers encountered the 500-pound beast under water. "The divers had less than 5 feet of visibility, and they knew he was there," Cutway told local news. "The gator was very close them. He was bothering them." Cutway said they used calls to lure the gator to the surface and it took about two more hours to capture the animal alive. The trapper said the alligator was taken to a gator farm in eastern Florida.


If someone is stupid enough to put their face into the fire of a burning log to smell fried chicken, they're too stupid to hire a lawyer and sue. No need for a safety warning. You shove your face into a fire, you deserve to get burned.

When teaching map & compass to Scouts, while explaining the wanderings of the north and south poles over time, I tell them that the south pole is where the anti-Santa lives, and if he ever got together with Santa they would annihilate each other in a huge explosion. Yeah, some Scouts are really gullible [heh heh].