Subscribe to THE DAILY GROANER
 
Subscibe to DEAL OF THE DAY
 


December 24, 2018

Good Morning Groanies,

NEW BestSellersChristmas is tomorrow so the next time I talk at you will be the day after. So Merry Christmas to all... and to all... a great issue of the Daily Groaner! It will be the gift that keeps on giving. That's right, the gift of chuckles, laughs, guffaws, cackles, giggles, titters, snickers, yuk it ups, and tee-hees thanks to the jokes that I have selected to share with you.

Enjoy your holiday! And if you get coal in your stocking be happy because that stuff ain't cheap and it's very useful, not like an ugly sweater, perfume, or a picture of a little dog dressed as an elf that daydreams about smelling other elf dog butts. My family Grab Bag was ruff this year! Get it!?

Groaningly yours,
Steve


P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

 
Learn more about RevenueStripe...
Q: What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?

A: A pineapple.


Q: What do you call Santa Claus when he doesn't move?

A: Santa Pause


Q: What is Santa's favorite Olympic event?

A: North Pole-vault.

*-- An Extravagant Gift --*

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.

After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles."

"She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"

*-- More Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What do you call an old snowman?

A: Water.


Q: Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?

A: Because it 'soots' him!


Q: What's the best thing to put into a Christmas pie?

A: Your teeth.

Is the air in your home making you sick? Get the Proven Mold Fighter >>