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December 20, 2018

Greetings Laff Lovers,

NewAllProductsIt seems like everybody is gearing up for Christmas. Me? I'm already over it. I get burned out on the holidays fast. It's not that I'm a Scrooge, but Christmas has lost its meaning and what's left is hardly worth celebrating.

Is Christmas about Jesus or is it about maxing out your credit card? You know, it doesn't matter whether you believe he was the son of God or not. He is still an extremely important historical figure.

For example, if it weren't for Jesus do you know how many Mexicans would be walking around today without a name?



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"A Salvation Army bell ringer in Virginia was injured when an 87-year-old man accidentally ran him over. He was taken to the hospital once the applause died down." -Seth Meyers

Just after my wife had given birth, I asked the nurse, "How soon do you think it will be before we can have sex?"

She gave me a wink and said "Well, I'm off duty in ten minutes, you can meet me in the parking lot."

"A new survey just came out and it finds that sex is better when you're on vacation. Yeah, at least that's what my wife emailed me from the Bahamas." -Conan O'Brien

Learn more about RevenueStripe...
Things That Are Difficult to Say When You're Drunk:

Indubitably; Innovative; Preliminary; Proliferation; Cinnamon.

Things That Are VERY Difficult to Say When You're Drunk:

Specificity; Cogito ergo sum; British; Constitution; Passive-aggressive disorder; Loquacious; Transubstantiate.

Things That Are Downright IMPOSSIBLE to Say When You're Drunk:

Thanks, but I don't want to have sex; Nope, no more booze for me; Sorry, but you're not really my type; Good evening, officer, isn't it lovely out tonight? Oh, I just couldn't-- no one wants to hear me sing!