Subscibe to DEAL OF THE DAY

December 12, 2018

Good Morning Groanies,

Gifts 4 GPHere's a hot take for you...I'm done with winter!

I can't stand the cold and the snow and the ice and the wind chill and the polar bear attacks. I just can't stand any of it! Winter never really bothered me before, but for some reason 2018 is the year for winter to become bothersome.

Why does it have to be so cold? Is it because of that entire year of college that I went commando? Was it because of my snazzy Hawaiian shirt collection? Or was it due to fact that I was in that cult for eight years and worshiped that sun and its warm warmingness?

Just be merciful old cold winter. That's all I ask. I only have so many layers. I only have so many pairs of gloves. And I can only warm up and store so many Hot Pockets in my actual pockets to keep me from freezing before all of the neighbor dogs start chasing me down the street.

Groaningly yours,

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- How Is Your Wife? --*

Learn more about RevenueStripe...
There were two old men sitting on a park bench talking. One old man asked the other, "How is your wife?"

Second old man replied, "I think she may be Dead!"

First old man, "What do you mean you THINK she may be dead?"

Second old man, "Well... the sex is the same but the dishes are starting to pile up."

*-- Just Puzzling --*

Three blondes have just finished a jigsaw-puzzle so they decide to celebrate by going out. They walk into a bar chanting, "61 days! 61 days!"

The bartender gets curious and walks over to them and asks, "Why are you chanting 61 days?"

One of the three answer, "Because the box said 3-to-6 years!"

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What has eight legs and goes up and down?

A: A spider in an elevator!

Q: Why did the Sheriff use a ruler when he questioned the witness?

A: He wanted to get the story straight.

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