Subscribe to CLEAN LAFFS
 
Subscibe to DEAL OF THE DAY
 


December 03, 2018

Good morning crew,

Gifts 4 GPSaturday the wife spent house and pet sitting for some people on the other side of town, and Sunday she had an all-day affair with some of her girlfriends downtown. Consequently I spent almost the entire weekend by myself.

Sure, it was a little lonely, on the other hand I hardly spent any money. Funny how that works out.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives


Stay Warm and Spread Cheer with the LED Flashing Holiday Hats and Scarves



Blood is thicker than water. But maple syrup is thicker than blood. So logically, pancakes are more important than family.

***

Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.

***

Back in my day, we had to agree when and where to meet and if someone didn't show up you couldn't call or text them, you just had to assume they had died.

***


 
Learn more about RevenueStripe...
I have been working on my PhD in engineering for the past five years, but my kids don't necessarily see that as work. As we were driving past Walmart one day, my son spotted a Now Hiring sign and suggested that I could get a job there.

Hoping to make a point, I asked, "Do you think they're looking for an engineer?"

"Oh, sure," he said. "They'll hire anybody."




Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes

The black lacquer stand holding his prized samurai swords was dusty, so my husband left our cleaning lady a note reading, "Check out my swords."

That evening, he found the stand just as dirty as before but with this added his note: 'Nice swords.'