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December 01, 2018

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Gifts 4 kidsA New Jersey couple said city officials told them they would be charged $50,000 for continuing their 15-year tradition of extravagant Christmas light displays.

Tom and Kris Apruzzi said they spend three months each year meticulously setting up the more than 300,000 lights decorating their Old Bridge home for the holidays, but officials are now trying to charge them $50,000 to continue their 15-year tradition.

"We had a meeting with the Mayor and the Chief of Police the other night and they blatantly told us that this is what you will pay in order to put this Christmas light display on this year" Kris Apruzzi told local news.

The couple said they were told the cost, which amounts to $2,000 per day that the lights would be illuminated, would go toward police security and bus transportation to reduce the traffic that the light show brings in each year.

The Apruzzis said they are trying to crowdfund to cover the cost, but they are planning to start the light show Dec. 1 whether or not they meet their goal.

"I'm not taking it down," Tom Apruzzi said. "It's my religious right and my first amendment right. I do this for the veterans and everything else like that. If people have a problem with that, I can't say anything about it. There are people that are going to be happy, and there are always people that are going to be unhappy."


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Teen Rescued From Bank Vault

Learn more about RevenueStripe...
Police in Florida said a 17-year-old playing around in an abandoned bank ended up needing to be rescued from inside the former business' vault. Hollywood police said two teenagers entered the former Bank of America branch and one of them, a 17-year-old boy, ended up locked inside the vault about 1:30 p.m. "Unfortunately, there were two juveniles that were playing around inside an abandoned bank and they didn't know that the vault was still active," Hollywood police Officer Christian Lata told local news. "[While] playing inside the vault, one of them got trapped inside and, luckily, the other one was outside and was able to call 911." Police responded with the Hollywood Fire Department, a Broward Sheriff Fire Rescue technical rescue team and at least two private vault technicians to attempt to free the boy bank heist style, but an attempt to drill into the wall of the bank to reach the boy failed. Lata said the boy was released from the vault after more than three hours when a Bank of America employee from the branch's new location was able to come to the scene and give authorities the combination to open the door.

Why Would Space Aliens Visit Texas?

Dozens of witnesses in Texas reported seeing a weather balloon in the sky near Fort Worth. A white, cigar-shaped weather balloon that remained perfectly motionless for 20 minutes. A video of the sighting has since gone viral, opening the door to UFO theories online. Several people commented on the YouTube video guessing it could be a blimp. However, a Texas administrator said they couldn't find any information that the Goodyear blimp was scheduled the day of the sighting. Further, the witness said it sat motionless in the sky for about 20 minutes. "It was the oddest thing I've ever seen," one unidentified witness said. "I watched it for about 20 minutes. It didn't move. I don't think I've ever seen anything in the sky stay that still before, not even for a few seconds, let alone 20 minutes." The motionless, cigar-shaped object left the witness stumped.
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LEWIS; OMG! This story of a trained orangutan trained to be a ho is indeed bizarre. However it reminds me of an old joke about sailors ship-wrecked on an island doing it with monkeys native to the island. However for reasons of decency I'm unable to repeat the joke here. -R.S.
[I think I've heard it.]

Lewis, I've heard of 'monkey see, monkey do' but that's just disgusting.

Lewis, having sex with an orangutan can become a real habit. You don't want that monkey on your back.

Lewis, sounds like there's another sequel to the 'Every Which Way But Loose' franchise in this story. Clint Eastwood's still acting, right?

I don't mean to be crude, but I'm awfully curious about how and to what end was this poor creature trained to perform these sex acts? Oh, and how many wangs did this monster destroy in the process? --Virgil