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November 28, 2018

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Toys2019A drunk redneck sneaking into a barn in the middle of the night to molest some poor cow or horse is bad enough, but what happened in Borneo in a little village down the road from a palm oil farm goes beyond criminal. The name orangutan comes from the Indonesian words meaning 'person of the forest', but the humans in today's story are far more cruel and inhuman than the poor animal victim.

In fact, you might not want to read any further.

Pony was an orangutan that was held captive at what is commonly referred to as a "brothel" village. That is a small community popular with local farm workers who used prostitutes. And if you are desperately hoping right now that Pony was some kind of circus act or performer, I'm sorry.

Pony's owner kept her shaved and chained to a bed where customers would come and pay to have sex with with her. She was trained to perform sex acts, how I don't even want to imagine, and was forced into wearing make-up, jewellery and perfume. You know, to complete the illusion.

When an orangutan rescue group discovered her she had already been a sex slave for years. Rescue volunteer Michelle Desilets said, "It was horrifying. She was covered in abscesses, and they put make-up and earrings on her."

And this was no rarity or oddity. In fact, poor Pony was such a money-maker the local community did not want to let her go. It took 35 armed policemen to get the villagers to hand over Pony.

Fortunately, the end was not all bad for Pony. While she could never be released back into the wile, after years of rehabilitation she now lives in an enclosure in Nyaru Menteng Rehabilitation Centre with seven other orangutans and has learned how to make nests and forage.


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The Steaks Are Too High

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The owner of a gargantuan steer known unofficially as the largest in Australia said the over 3,000-pound bovine's size saved him from the slaughterhouse. Geoff Pearson said Knickers, the 6-foot-and-4-inch-tall Holstein Friesian steer living at his Myalup, Western Australia, farm, was simply too big for the slaughterhouse. "It was too heavy. I wouldn't be able to put it through a processing facility," Pearson told local news. "So I think it will just live happily ever after." He said Knickers now serves as a "coach," a steer that takes charge of the rest of the bovines at his farm. Knickers has also quickly found fame as a viral celebrity online, where he is unofficially known as Australia's biggest steer. Guinness World Records lists the largest living steer as a 6.6-foot-tall Chianina ox named Bellino in Italy.

Bank Error in Your Favor. Collect $200.

An ATM was taken out of service in Houston after customers reported it was distributing $100 bills instead of $20 bills. The Harris County Sheriff's Office said the Bank of America ATM was swarmed by customers after a social media post alerted locals that the cash machine near Interstate 45 and Farm to Market Road 1960 in Harris County had given out a $100 bill instead of the requested $20. Police said fights broke out at the ATM before deputies arrived to calm the scene and stop customers from exploiting the apparent glitch. The ATM remained out of service while the bank investigated. It was unclear how many $100 bills had been mistakenly distributed and whether customers who took them had committed a crime.
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I for one do not believe that anyone on the island should be held responsible for the death of an invader. Perhaps they learned their lesson by learning what happened here after Christopher Columbus started the genocide.

Reminds me of the guy in the flood who was sure God would save him and refused a canoe, a speedboat and a helicopter. When he drowned and went to heaven and asked God why He let him die, God replies 'I sent you a canoe, a speedboat and a helicopter-what more did you need?"

Obviously John Chau wanted to see God real soon. I wonder what kind of reception he'll get at the pearly gates?

So John Chau chose to completely ignore the extreme measures taken to protect this tribe from outside influence.
He invaded their space, I am not surprised they killed him. I am surprised they are calling it murder and arrested the 7.
[Oh, no, they arrested the smugglers who brought him there. The authorities didn't arrest any of the tribes people.]

So not only was that man a thief for stealing gas, but he was also clearly a liar. What with his pants being on fire.