November 23, 2018

Good morning crew,

Like you, probably, I am taking a much deserved day off today. Not that I'll be loafing around all day. There is always plenty to clean up after a party.

No good deed goes unpunished.

But at least I get to look forward to a leftover turkey sandwich for my lunch. That first day the leftover turkey is always the best. The fifth day, not so much, but for some reason that one-day-old turkey is almost better than fresh out of the oven.

I like to make my sandwiches on toasted bread (a lot of people don't agree with this, but I think toasted bread adds structure to the sandwich). Then I like to add mayo, but only a little bit because after I add the turkey I like to dribble a little gravy over it. Finally I top it off with mashed potatoes, salt and black pepper.

Now THAT'S a sandwich.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

The secret is out! The fastest way to charge ANY battery - CLICK HERE

"I'm writing a book in fifth person, so every sentence starts out with: 'I heard from this guy who told somebody...'" -Demetri Martin

***
A donkey had an IQ of 186. He had no friends at all though. Because even in the animal kingdom, nobody likes a smart-ass.

***
"When we got married we registered at Bloomingdale's because you can return everything for cash. And I figure each place setting can keep me in beer money for about a month." --Gary Barkin

***

I volunteered recently to perform a parachute jump for charity. On our first day of training, the instructor made an important point about preparing for landing at 300 feet.

"How do you know when you're at 300 feet?" asked one woman.

"A good question," replied the instructor. "At 300 feet you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."

The woman thought about this for awhile before saying, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes

My boss is without peer when it comes to the rules and regulations that customs officials must follow. But when it comes to the law, well, that's a different story.

We were attending a court case in which we were prosecuting a smuggler. The judge asked the court, "Who is making these allegations?"

My boss stood up and proclaimed, "I am the alligator, your honor."