November 19, 2018
Good morning crew,
Tonight is the night. Grocery shopping for Thanksgiving. The wife and I did a practice run yesterday afternoon, just to pick up a few household items like paper towels, dish soap, scotch, and it was torture. The aisles packed, deranged shoppers whipping their carts around like maniacs, harassed staff hiding in the stock rooms nowhere to be found. And the lines. I don't want to think about it.
Tonight we are going for the big stuff. And I don't expect things to be any better. The wife's parents already donated a turkey for the event, which was nice of them, but we still have to pick up everything else, from the oysters for the stuffing to the whipped cream for the pumpkin pie.
I may need a couple stiff drinks for this adventure.
Laugh it up,
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As the manager of our hospital's softball team, I was responsible for returning equipment to the proper owners at the end of the season.
When I walked into the surgery department carrying a bat that belonged to one of the surgeons, I passed several patients and their families in a waiting area.
"Look, honey," one man said to his wife. "Here comes your anesthesiologist."
En route to Hawaii, I noticed one of my passengers in the coach section of the airplane dialing her cell phone. "Excuse me. That can't be on during the flight," I reminded her. "Besides, we're over the ocean, you won't get a signal out here."
"That's okay," she said. "I'm just calling my daughter. She's sitting up in first class."
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I spent 20 minutes explaining life insurance options to one of our employees. After reviewing the different plans and monthly deductions, he decided to max out, choosing $100,000 worth of life insurance. But he had one last question.
"Now," he said, "what do I have to do to collect?"