November 17, 2018
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
You may or may not have heard, but the east coast got a bit of snow in the last 24 hours. Apparently they weren't prepared for it. People were trapped on public transportation, trapped in their cars, sometimes stranded for up to twelve hours. People were sleeping in their vehicles. But for some commuters in Pennsylvania at least there was some unusual entertainment. Something you don't normally see in the northeast. Especially in the middle of a snowstorm.
Shocked drivers in a snowy Pennsylvania highway captured photos and video of an unusual animal at the side of the road - a camel.
Witnesses reported spotting the camel Thursday evening next to a van and trailer pulled over at the side of Route 309. Surprised drivers captured photos and videos of the animal that quickly went viral on social media.
The camel mystery was solved when the Jewish Federation of Greater Philadelphia revealed the animal, named Einstein, had been en route to an event at the Kimmel Center in Philadelphia. The federation said the weather prevented the animal from making it on time.
"Sadly Einstein the camel didn't make it to the Kimmel Center this evening," the group tweeted. "His ride got stuck in the weather and decided it was best for him to go home. Thank you for everyone's concern. Einstein is safe and happy to be headed home to Peaceable Kingdom Petting Zoo."
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World's First Oral Sex Robot
This is the American ingenuity that split the atom and put a man on the moon. US developers have created the world's first oral sex robot, and they named it Autoblow A.I. Inventor Brian Sloan said, "We used artificial intelligence to replicate techniques that make using our machine feel less robotic and more human." They did that by studying hundreds of hours of porn. And you thought the perfect job didn't exist. The Autoblow AI combines a microcontroller with an infrared beam sensor and magnetic field sensors to manipulate a fleshy sleeve across 250 different points along a "5-inch-long stroking plane". It has ten speeds available, including "the full stroke", "fast edge", and "top & bottom stroke" and gives a "quieter experience that won't alert people to your activities". The only question is, would you put your penis inside one?
SpaghettiOs Attacks are On the Rise
A Pittsburgh woman is facing several charges after allegedly throwing several cans of SpaghettiOs at another woman's vehicle. The incident happened last month as the victim was expecting to meet with a man who was supposed to provide money for their children. The victim said when she approached the Allegheny Union Plaza building, a woman approached her and began throwing cans of SpaghettiOs at her vehicle. The victim said as she tried to get out of her car the suspect tried stabbing her with a kitchen knife. Police said the victim's vehicle had a broken back window, multiple dents and was smeared with red sauce and pieces of pasta. But police said they reviewed surveillance video which appeared to show several other people involved in the incident, including a man who was apparently also throwing cans of SpaghettiOs. Police said they're working to identify any additional suspects.
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About the All My Exes Lives in Texas woman; Can she skin a buck? Can she run a trotline? A country girl can survive. (I apologize... I couldn't help myself).
[I'm not sure what a 'trotline' is, but any woman that can skin a buck would make me nervous in bed. I wouldn't be sure what else she might have a mind to skin.]
I bet that woman who blew her wedding dress up with dynamite is sorry the story got so much publicity. Men tend to shy away from women who end relationships with explosives. She might have a tough time finding a date for a while.
[Maybe that was her plan all along.]
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