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November 08, 2018

Greetings Laff Lovers,

NewAllProductsOne of the sexy things about middle-aged women vs. 21-year-old girls is that middle-aged women appreciate a little honest flirting.

I walked into the office kitchen this morning to find our Human Resources manager and resident MILF throwing away a bag of those tiny, little oranges.

"Why are you throwing away those oranges?" I asked her.

"They're not oranges, they're called Cuties," she answered.

"Okay, why are you throwing away those Cuties?"

"Because they're rotten."

"Are you sure?" I asked, reaching over and squeezing one. "Your Cuties feel perfectly ripe to me."

She gave a laugh, "I haven't had ripe cuties in 15 years."

"Don't sell yourself short."

"I wish my husband appreciated over-ripe cuties as much as you do," she answered with another giggle and walked out of the room.

I am so aroused right now.



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[Speaking of flirting...]

A man walks up to a woman at the bar and decides he's going to charm her with a clever pickup line. So he says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it's too long."

The woman tells him, "I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you will never get it."

As a painless way to save money, a young couple arranged that every time they have sex the husband puts his pocket change into a china piggy bank on the bedside table. One night while being unusually athletic, he accidentally knocked the piggy bank onto the floor where it smashes.

To his surprise, among the masses of coins, there are handfuls of twenty and fifty dollar bills. He asks his wife, "What's up with all the bills?"

To his wife which replies, "Well, not everyone is as cheap as you are."

So my wife recently got a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh. It's really pretty, and functional too. When I put my ear to it I can smell the ocean.

Learn more about RevenueStripe...
Eddie, wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office...but she was dating someone and wouldn't give him the time of day.

Finally Eddie got so frustrated that he went to her and said, "I know you're not interested in a relationship with me, but I'll give you $100 if you just let me have sex with you."

The girl responded with an immediate and offended, "NO!"

Eddie said, "I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down and I'll finish by the time you've picked it up. I promise!"

She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her boyfriend.

So she called him and explained the situation. Her boyfriend said, "He must be crazy! Ask him for $200, and pick up the money really fast. He won't even be able to get his pants down and we'll be 200 bucks richer."

She agreed and accepts the proposal.

20 minutes goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend's call. Finally, after a half hour the boy- friend calls and asks, "Well...what happened???"

Still breathing hard, she managed to reply, "The bastard had all quarters!"