Subscibe to DEAL OF THE DAY

November 07, 2018

Good Morning Groanies,

Last ChanceChristmas music already? Come on! Almost every store is blasting those annoying holiday tunes and it's only the beginning of November.

Remember when the holiday season started right after Thanksgiving and then you were actually looking forward to it? Now that's long gone. By the time Christmas gets here we're egg nogged and Fa-la-la-la-la-ed to death and beyond. I think most people are truly starting to hate the holiday season... and who can blame them?

These stores need to let up on the holiday shopping throttle. For crying out loud, there were boxes of candy canes next to the bags of Halloween candy. This is madness I tell you!

If I hear "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" one more time I'm gonna... I'm gonna...I'm gonna probably just do my holiday shopping online this year and not lose it in the middle of the mall like last year and the year before that. Nobody needs to see that again.

Groaningly yours,

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Hilarious Puns: Part 1 --*

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

*-- Hilarious Puns: Part 2 --*

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6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home."

"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: How do you know if a restaurant has a clown as a chef?

A: When the food tastes funny.

Q: How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?

A: Make him wear shoes.

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