November 02, 2018
Good morning crew,
November already, and I've accomplished practically nothing this year. Nothing!
Yeah, I repaired and re-painted the garage, I pressure washed the patio, acid washed the garage floor, did a little landscaping, chopped down two trees, and made a couple trips out of town.
But I only had two cookouts all year. That's depressing.
Laugh it up,
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"A new study found that good-looking people are more likely to have daughters than sons. And ugly people are more likely to have cats." -Jimmy Fallon
"A New Jersey restaurant is offering a special menu this month that doesn't list prices, but instead asks customers to pay what they think is fair. According to the sign in the window, the restaurant is called 'This Space for Rent.'" -Seth Meyers
"They say it now costs $250,000 to raise a child to age 18, and that doesn't count college, which is like $50,000 a year. So kids, if you want to give dad a great Father's Day gift, run away." -Jimmy Kimmel
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last week we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know.... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'That's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'
Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes
Out in space two alien forms are speaking with each other.
The first spaceman says, "The dominant life forms on the earth planet have developed satellite-based weapons."
The second alien, who looks exactly like the first, asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"
The first spaceman says, "I don't think so...They have them aimed at themselves."