November 04, 2018
Greetings Laff Lovers,
I made an effort to take all of the Halloween decorations down early this year. Last year I left them up for weeks (because I'm a lazy slob) and we had rubber spiders and cardboard witches for Thanksgiving. But the wife hasn't been taking her responsibilities seriously. You see; she takes the decorations out of storage and I put them up. Then I take them down and she puts them all away again. It's a balance. A sharing of responsibility. But so far she hasn't done her part and everything is still lying on the floor where I left it since Thursday.
It's all part of our little 'system'. For example, I maintain the yard and the exterior, she keeps the house clean. I give her control of all the household money, and she makes sure all the bills are paid. She provides all the meals, and I provide all the orgasms. It's a partnership.
But if this beakdown in our little 'system' is symptomatic, things could get bad around the house. I mean, what if we start doing things for ourselves? Being independent? Giving ourselves our own orgasms? What would be the point of being married?
Now there's a thought.
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: firstname.lastname@example.org
P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives
The stores can't keep this cooking gadget in stock, but we've got them for 1/2 off! Get the 5 Minute Chef Here
"Florida police arrested a woman this weekend in a storage unit facility after she had assaulted her husband during an argument over which sex position is best. She had argued for missionary, while he had argued for 'in a storage facility.'" -Seth Meyers
"Honey it's me. I don't want to alarm you but I was hit by a car as I was leaving the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They have checked me over and done some tests and some x-rays.
The blow to my head was severe. Fortunately it did not cause any serious internal injury. However I have three broken ribs, a compound fracture in the left leg, and they they may have to amputate my right foot if it doesn't heal quickly."
However, the doctors feel the foot can be treated and I will be OK, but they just need to monitor the foot for a few days. I'm in room 406 at Baptist East.
Wife's Response: "Who is Paula?"
And if you find that hard to believe, you've never been married.
"The only difference between gay marriage and straight marriage is no one complains when you leave the toilet seat up." -Jimmy Kimmel
Three women friends, one in a casual relationship, one engaged to be married and one a long-time wife, met for drinks after work. The conversation eventually drifted towards how best to spice up their sex lives.
After much discussion, they decided to surprise their men by engaging in some S&M role playing.
The following week they met up again to compare notes. Sipping her drink, the single girl leered and said, "Last Friday at the end of the work day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather coat. When all the other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was a leather bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels. He was so aroused that we made mad passionate love on his desk right then and there!"
The engaged woman giggled and said, "That's pretty much my story! When my fiance got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black mask, leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps. He was so turned on that we not only screwed all night, he wants to move up our wedding date!
The married woman put her glass down and said, "I did a lot of planning. I made arrangements for the kids to stay over at Grandma's. I took a long scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume. I slipped into a tight leather bodice, a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos. I finished it off with a black mask. When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled, 'Hey, Batman, what's for dinner?'"