October 24, 2018

Good morning crew,

The folks who owned our house before we did had a nice, little bar built in the basement, and behind that bar they installed a nice, little 3.3 cubic foot mini fridge.

Personally, I thought that was just the height of luxury and convenience (my experience is very limited). I won't say it influenced our buying decision, but in my imagination I pictured myself lounging behind the bar, the center of attention as I distributed ice cold beer to admiring and envious party guests without having to climb the stairs or bend over and dig around in a cooler like some sort of proletariat.

I remember four years ago when the wife and I had our first party in the basement. The night before, I went downstairs to plug the fridge in and get it nice and cold for the following day, and as soon as the plug hit the outlet there was an audible 'Fzzzit!' And it never worked again.

So for the past four years the thing has sat empty and useless in its niche behind the bar. But last weekend the wife and I were at the home improvement store buying some decorating supplies when we walked past the appliance area and saw a selection of mini fridges.

More for the fun of it than anything else we took a look at them and the wife immediately got inspired. But she wasn't interested in some college dorm fridge that would hold a case of beer. Her eyes immediately found a custom, 148 can beverage cooler, with stainless steel finish, adjustable shelves, a see-through, double-walled, thermal glass door, and digital temperature controls from 38 all the way down to minus 40 degrees Fahrenheit (in case we ever need liquid nitrogen or something).

Unfortunately for the wife that model was $599. Fortunately for me there was NO WAY that monstrosity was going to fit behind the bar. But she was in love with it.

She had just about talked me into buying the thing and just sticking it in a corner, when I found the perfect fridge. It was the same model as the old one, which means it would fit in the exact same niche, it was the floor model, it was the only one left, and it had a dent in the door.

The wife hated it. On the other hand, the salesman was willing to give us 40 percent off just to get the thing out of the store. So we brought it home.

With a little legerdemain we were able to install it that night and have it ice cold and stocked in time for the party last weekend.

And after all that deliberation and all that effort; nobody used it all night. Not even once.

So I guess it's up to me to make use of it. For a hundred bucks I'm not going to let it sit there idle!

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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When it arrived, we climbed into the front seat. While the driver was hooking up the car, the salesman turned to me with a smile and said, "Well, now, what is it going to take to put you behind the wheel of that beauty today?"

Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes

To prepare for my daughter's First Communion, I called the church in the town where we used to live to get a copy of her baptismal certificate.

We lived there for only a short while, so I didn't know the clergy well. When the secretary asked me the name of the father, I told her that I couldn't remember.

After a brief silence, she said, "Ma'am, I'm talking about the name of the baby's father."