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October 21, 2018

Greetings Laff Lovers,

NEW BestSellersLewis was wasting time in my office this morning while I was going through my email deleting spam.

"Look at this," I announced when one in particular caught my attention, "it says, 'Meet beautiful, willing, Russian women.'"

"So?" Lewis asked.

"So why would I want a woman who rushes? I like women who take their time. 'Don't fast-forward through the TZ Show,' I always tell my wife."

"Why shouldn't she," he answered, "it's usually a re-run."



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Learn more about RevenueStripe...

"There's a new dating site aimed at matching up women who like to travel with men willing to pay for their trips. It's part of a new dating trend called prostitution." -Jimmy Fallon

After I performed a simple medical procedure on my patient, I warned her, "After this, you can't have sex for at least three days."

"Did you hear that?" she asked her husband. "No sex for three days."

"I heard," he said. "But she was talking to you."
Learn more about RevenueStripe...

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
and Panic is when both are pregnant.

Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family.

An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?"

"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple-a bambinos."

"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with anudder man. "Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'time's up'?"

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