Subscibe to DEAL OF THE DAY

October 17, 2018

Good Morning Groanies,

Surprise Me 2Tomorrow is my lovely wife Stacy's birthday! I know! I'm excited, too!

The boys and I have a lot of fun planned for this wonderful day, but I'm not going to spoil it because Stacy reads this or at least she says she does.

I love Stacy more than anything. She makes me happier than I have ever known. I can never do enough to show her just how much I appreciate her and the sacrifices that she makes, but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to try. I am so grateful each and every day for her and I hope that she knows that. I hope this is the happiest birthday yet!

Happy Birthday, Stacy! I hope you like all of your presents. Don't worry, I got gift receipts. Love you!

Groaningly yours,

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What do vampires have at eleven o'clock every day?

A: A coffin break!

Q: What do you call a ghost's mother and father?

A: Transparents!

Learn more about RevenueStripe...

*-- The Vampire Bar --*

It was Halloween and three vampires went into a saloon and walked up to the bar.

"What will you have?" the bartender asked.

"I'll have a glass of blood," the first replied.

"I'll have a glass of blood, too, please," said the second.

"I'll have a glass of plasma," said the third.

"OK, let me get this straight," the bartender said. "That'll be two bloods and a blood light?"

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What do you call a cat that throws great parties?

A: The Great Catsby!

Q: What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?

A: "Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back."

Is the air in your home making you sick? Get the Proven Mold Fighter >>