October 05, 2018
Good morning crew,
One of the wife's co-workers invited her to an early Halloween party this weekend, so the other night she asked me what kind of couple's costumes we should wear.
"I was thinking Patricia Addams and you could be Gomez."
"It's Morticia," I corrected.
"Whatever," she agreed. "Or I could be Poison Ivy and you could be Batman. I already have most of the outfit and you could pick up a cheap Batman costume for 20 or 30 dollars."
I hate to dampen her enthusiasm, but I'm getting a little long in the tooth for playing dress up.
So I said, "We don't HAVE to dress as a couple. Don't worry about matching me. Dress up as whatever you want. If you want to be Poison Ivy, be Poison Ivy."
"Then what are you going to be?" she asked.
I said, "I'll go as persona non grata."
Laugh it up,
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My girlfriend told me to take a spider out instead of killing it. So we went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer.
When my wife gets upset, sometimes a simple 'Calm down, Honey' in a soothing voice is all it takes to get her a lot more upset.
"I think the bottom-line difference between being single and married is this: When you're single you're as happy as you are. When you're married, you can only be as happy as the least happy person in the house." --Tom Hertz
A homeowner was delighted with the way the painter had done all the work on his house. "You did a great job." he said and handed the man a check. "Also, as a bonus, here's an extra $100 to take the missus out to dinner and a movie."
Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was the painter. "What's the matter," asked the homeowner, "did you forget something?"
"Nope." replied the painter. "I'm just here to take your missus out to dinner and a movie like you asked."
*- - - Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes - - -*
A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad.
His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl?"
The logician replies: "Yes!"
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