October 03, 2018
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
Britain's Royal Mail is asking residents to stop mailing empty potato chip packets back to the manufacturer as an environmental protest. Royal Mail officials said the campaign, backed by activist group 38 Degrees, is causing delays for workers at postal facilities because the empty Walkers chip bags have to be sorted by hand.
People have been mailing their empty chip bags back to Walkers in recent weeks to protest the company's packaging, which takes 75-80 years to decompose. The company announced during the summer that it was aiming to make the packaging recyclable by 2025, but protesters say the goal isn't fast enough.
"We strongly encourage customers not to post anything into the postal system which is not properly packaged," a Royal Mail representative told said. "Crisp packets can't go through the machines, they are not normal mail items therefore my hardworking colleagues need to manually sort them, which adds to time."
Social media users have posted photos of themselves mailing empty Walkers packets back to the company with the hashtag "#PacketInWalkers." A petition circulated by 38 Degrees calling on Walkers to move up the timetable of the packaging plans has garnered over 5,000 signatures.
Jarred Livesey, an environmentalist who has mailed several empty backs back to Walkers, said he plans to continue the protest while still abiding by Royal Mail's request.
"I will continue to return packs to Walkers -- I'll just use a recycled envelope," he said.
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Book Order Takes 20 Years for Delivery
A Florida woman who ordered a set of Dr. Seuss books for her granddaughter said the package finally arrived -- 20 years later. I guess she should have order them Prime. Vera Walker of Orlando said her granddaughter was only 4 years old when she ordered the set of books in 1998. She was an adult with a 5-year-old son of her own by the time the package arrived at Walker's home. The post office explained to Walker that the box had been found stuck inside an old mailbox. Walker said the books arrived just in time for her to read them to her great-grandson, who she said is enjoying the classic tomes.
Maine Woman's Art is Complete Sh!t
A Maine woman's artwork is going viral thanks to her creative uses of a plentiful natural resource: moose poop. Somerville resident Mary Winchenbach, who came to the Internet's attention after hawking her "Tirdy Works" wares at the Common Ground Fair, is now using social media to sell figurines, clocks and other artworks that incorporate real "Maine Moose Tirds." Winchenbach said, "Everyone goes to the bathroom so everyone can relate to that. The terms that I used to name these products are every day terms that people are used to hearing so I just kind of try to combine the two to come up with something halfway decent that's funny. For example the first off we make now instead of a cuckoo clock this is a Poopoo o'clock. We took them turds and we cram them in between the number there so there's one turdy - two turdy- three turdy," she said. Winchenbach said all of her Tirdy Works are sourced from local feces.
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Lewis, the cannibal wife story gives "Russian hacking" a whole new meaning. -Greg
New format for the newsletter? It looks sharp, nice work.
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With all the gruesome stories in the last edition. You can tell you're preparing for Halloween. What's next? Pickled private parts?
[If your private parts are pickled, you've been using them wrong.]
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