October 03, 2018

Good Morning Groanies,

Stacy and I took the kids apple picking over the weekend. The weather was great!

We enjoyed the crisp, cool fall air, fresh cinnamon doughnuts, delicious apple cider, and we picked some of the best apples we've ever come across. It was the best!

Well, things were going great. I was having one of most fun days I've had in forever when suddenly...I had an idea.

It appeared that the best apples were located at the very top of the trees. So, if I wanted those coveted Gala and Golden Delicious, then I would have to climb on up to snag 'em. And I did.

Once I was up, and gathered a significant amount of apples, I looked down and began to regret my awful decision to shimmy up this rather soaring tree. Then my attention was on the process of how I was going to get down, and get down safely.

After about 15-20 minutes I did get down. It was slow and as safe as I could do it without causing myself any serious injury. Just my pride was a little dinged up. The boys were cheering me on. Stacy was shaking her head and trying to figure out what I was thinking. After both feet made it on the ground I celebrated with a tasty Gala apple.

I guess apple picking is for the young, or for those that have a ladder handy.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Stuck In An Elevator --*

The guys down at the barber shop asked me what Hollywood bombshell actress I'd like to be stuck in an elevator with.

I thought for a minute and said, "Any one of 'em that knows how to fix elevators."

(Jokes courtesy of BFBOA1)

*-- Romantic Text Message --*

An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their cell phones. The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.

One afternoon while shopping the wife decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote: "If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you."

The husband texted back to her: "I'm on the toilet. Please advise."

(Jokes courtesy of Paula)

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: How do hair stylists speed up their job?

A: They take short cuts!


Q: What is a boxer's favorite drink?

A: Punch.
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