Thursday, September 27, 2018
Greetings Laff Lovers,
I just read an article which claimed that the "cowgirl" or woman on top position is the most dangerous sex position. The reason it is the most dangerous is because it is the most likely to result in a penile fracture.
If you have never heard of this little tiptoe through the tulips, a penile fracture is what happens when an erect dick is bent in half. It doesn't exactly fracture, but there is all sorts of soft tissue damage which can cause swelling, deformity and erectile dysfunction.
So something to avoid if at all possible, especially if you like having your significant other bouncing up and down on top of you like a toddler in a bouncy swing.
Of course, I don't necessarily agree with the finding of this study. While a penile fracture is dangerous, to be sure, there are other sex position which can be much more dangerous. If you get hurt doing "The Wheelbarrow" or "The Butter Churner" you're going to wish all you had was a little penile fracture.
But by far the most dangerous sexual position is any one you are in while your partner's husband is jingling his keys in the front door.
And if you are interested, the next most dangerous position after "cowgirl" is "doggy-style" position, with the traditional "man on top" being the most safe... if a little boring.
Send me comments, jokes and pictures of all the hot women in your family at this link: firstname.lastname@example.org
P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives
"A North Carolina man says he used his 'Never Ending Pasta Pass' from Olive Garden to eat at the restaurant 95 times in the past six weeks. Well, he didn't say that, but his tombstone does." -Seth Meyers
A little girl goes to the barbershop with her dad and stands next to the chair, eating a muffin while her dad gets a haircut.
The barber smiles at her and says: "Your gonna get hair on your muffin!"
"I know," she says. "I'm gonna get tits too!"
"In New York, a 100-year-old woman still works 11 hours a day, six days a week. The bad news is, she's a stripper. She doesn't dance to 'Cherry Pie,' she gives you the recipe for it." -Conan O'Brien
A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 O'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
The woman, sort of bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man, "Shit! That must be my husband!"
So the guy quickly got out of bed scared and naked, he grabbed his pants and jumped out the window like a crazy man. He smashed himself on the ground, went through a thorn bush, then he stood up and started to run fast to his car.
Just a few minutes later he returned and screams at the woman, "What the hell are you trying to do to me? I'm your husband, you lying slut!"
The woman yelled back, "Yeah? Why were you running, you son of a bitch!"