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Wednesday, September 19, 2018

Good morning crew,

You know, when the wife agreed to come to the gym with me earlier this week I was excited to have her company. We really don't get to do a lot of things together. But because she has so little experience in health clubs I was determined to keep a close eye on her. I didn't want her to climb onto a machine the wrong way and strangle herself with the cables, or drop a dumbbell on someone's toe, or do something to embarrass me like take a selfie while posing on a bench.

But apparently I didn't have anything to worry about, because the moment she walked into the place she disappeared to do her own thing. I barely saw her the entire hour we were there.

I was wondering why she was avoiding me so assiduously when it occurred to me; I think she was afraid I was going to do something to embarrass her!

Laugh it up,


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"Germany today launched a service on the world's first passenger trains that run on hydrogen - unlike here in New York, where the trains run on occasion." -Seth Meyers


"Coca-Cola might be working on a drink that's infused with weed. They're still going to put your name on the side of the can. 'Cause it's the only way you'll remember it." -Jimmy Fallon


"A developer in New York wants to build an IHOP on top of a Revolutionary War cemetery. IHOP's CEO said, 'It makes sense, we've killed more Americans than the British ever did.'" -Conan O'Brien


One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"

The mother smiled. "I can't dear," she said. 'I have to sleep in Daddy's room."

The little boy replied with a shaking voice, "The big sissy."

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

I came home one night and my wife was crying.
I said, "what's wrong?"
She said, "I'm home sick."
I said, "But, this IS your home."
"I know," she replied, "and I'm sick of it!"