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MOUTHPIECE - September 18, 2018

Good Afternoon,

Sometimes we need to make excuse, but there are times when we can't think of a good one or a semi-believable one.

Well, worry no more! I have discovered the Excuse-O-Mat. That's right, the Excuse-O-Mat. The Excuse-O-Mat is a website that offers you excuse for reasons ranging from medical to moral failure and more.

I wish this column was better, but...What a week! First my intestinal parasites returned, and then, would you believe, my doctor absolutely would not accept my diagnosis! I'm fighting day and night with the HMO and I don't know if I can make it through another week. I just pray that next week I don't have a relapse.

I know. Excuses, excuses!

Mouthing Off,

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[m] q u o t e s . o f . t h e . d a y

"The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity."
--Harlan Ellison

"I'm thirty years old, but I read at the thirty-four-year-old level."
--Dana Carvey

"I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either."
--Jack Benny

[m] What's On the Web?

Dead or Alive

From Ever wanted to know if a famous person was...Dead or Alive? This website will help you find out.

Visit: Dead or Alive

The Excuse-O-Mat

What could be better than coming up with an excuse you don't have to fret over? This handy gadget can write more than three million of those lifesavers for you!

Visit: The Excuse-O-Mat

[m] b i t s . n . b o b s

*-- Things in Life I Learned from a Jigsaw Puzzle --*

1. Don't force a fit. If something is meant to be, it will come together naturally.

2. When things aren't going so well, take a break. Everything will look different when you return.

3. Be sure to look at the big picture. Getting hung up on the little pieces only leads to frustration.

4. Perseverance pays off. Every important puzzle went together bit by bit, piece by piece.

5. When one spot stops working, move to another. But be sure to come back later (see #4).

6. The creator of the puzzle gave you the picture as a guidebook.

7. Variety is the spice of life. It's the different colors and patterns that make the puzzle interesting.

8. Working together with friends and family makes any task fun.

9. Establish the border first. Boundaries give a sense of security and order.

10. Don't be afraid to try different combinations. Some matches are surprising.

11. Take time often to celebrate your successes (even little ones).

12. Anything worth doing takes time and effort. A great puzzle can't be rushed.


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