September 17, 2018

Good Morning Groanies,

Lately, it seems like I've been drinking too much coffee. At least three pots a day make it to my face and I drink it up effortlessly.

I noticed that I've been getting, what medical science calls "The Jitters", so I think it's time to cut back. Actually, I'm gonna go cold turkey and rid my system of the dreaded java bean and see if that helps or hurts my behavior, productivity, and all around good nature. We shall see.

Today, is day one of this coffee cleanse. Please, wish me luck, cross you fingers, and hope that I don't get a hold of Juan Valdez anytime soon. Do you have his number?

Groaningly yours,
Steve

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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve

*-- Location, Location, Location --*

The shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS.

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES.

The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop-it read... MAIN ENTRANCE.
Prices slashed to more than 60% off - CLICK HERE

*-- Don't Mime Me --*

A young lady was a theater major applying for fall semester classes. At the end of the busy day she goes back to her dorm and enters in a huff of anger.

"What's wrong, Shelly?" Asks her roommate.

"Well, all the acting classes are filled. I couldn't even get into Mime class."

"Why not?"

"How should I know? You can't get a word out of those people!"

*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What do you call a peanut in a spacesuit?

A: An astronut!


Q: When do ducks wake up in the morning?

A: At the quack of dawn!