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THE DAILY GROANER - September 12, 2018

Good Morning Groanies,


Stress can do so many things to your body and mind.

It can make you tired, irritable, hungry, thirsty, nervous, hyper, achy, fatigued, restless, fidgety, scream obscenities, cry, laugh hysterically for no apparent reason, bark like a dog at delivery people, fill your bathtub up with peeled bananas and skim milk, engage in a staring contest with a random squirrel, make a suit out of your living room carpeting, watch a silent movie with the television volume on full-blast, build a replica of the Washington Monument out of burnt toast, hide pudding in your medicine cabinet, clean your gutters while naked, order a pizza and then just eat the box it came in, punt a football in an elevator, glue high heels to ceiling fan blades, draw hair on the heads of bald guys...

Hey, stress can make you do all sorts of things.

Groaningly yours,
Steve


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Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- The Chicken and the Egg --*

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on its face.

The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says, "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question.



*-- Can We Have A Word? --*

Husband: Do you know that on an average women says between 10,000 to 35,000 words a day?

Wife: Yes, that's because they have to repeat everything often to men.

Husband: What?



*-- Q and A Quickies --*

Q: What did the hamburger name his daughter?

A: Patty.


Q: Did you hear about the alligators that joined the FBI?

A: They became investi-gators.

***

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