THE DAILY GROANER - September 10, 2018

Good Morning Groanies,

I was looking myself over while standing in front of a mirror and I thought that I looked good for a guy my age.

I guess I could get myself in a little bit better shape. I could stand to lose a few pounds, tighten up some areas and maybe even develop some muscle. I think I needed to do a little self-evaluation of my physical attributes and I think I learned a little bit about myself.

I also learned that standing in the middle of a department store naked during prime business hours is frowned upon. Store policy my bare butt! I'm not the worst thing you could see.

Groaningly yours,
Steve

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Jokes? Comments? Questions? Email Steve


*-- Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?

A: Bacon and legs.


Q: What do you call a frozen policeman?

A: A copsicle.



*-- Waiting Tables --*
A waitress became violently ill while at work and was rushed by ambulance to the emergency room. In typical hospital fashion, she was placed on an examining table and then all but ignored for the next half-hour.

Finally, she noticed a doctor out in the hall and yelled, "Please help me!"

"Sorry," he replied, "it's not my table."



*-- More Q and A Quickies --*
Q: What dinosaur would you find in a rodeo?

A: Bronco-saurus!


Q: What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain?

A: Stegosaur-rust!

***
Missed an Issue? Visit the Daily Groaner Archives