Wednesday, September 5, 2018

Good morning crew,

Hey! Just because it's September doesn't mean the summer is over. There's still time to have fun.

There's no money, opportunity, motivation, or justification.

But there's still time.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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A friend had a waitressing position open at his diner and asked job seekers to fill out an application. Under "Salary Expected," a woman wrote "Friday."

***
The highlight of our zoo trip was a peacock showing off its plumage. My four-year-old son was particularly taken with it. That evening, he couldn't wait to tell his father: "Dad, guess what! I saw a Christmas tree come out of a chicken!"

***
Driving in Ohio, we spotted a sign that read, "Wildlife Refuge." Seeing a dead deer lying in front of it, my husband shook his head. "He almost made it."

***
In my English-as-a-second-language class, I explained the difference between a watch and a clock. I told the students that when it was a large timepiece on a wall and not attached to your body, it was called a clock. When it was worn on your body, it was called a watch.

A few days later we had a power outage, and our classroom clocks had not been reset. I asked Luis, who was wearing a wristwatch, for the time. Luis looked at his wrist, and then confidently announced, "It is exactly ten o'watch."




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
My brother Scott brought over a photo album of his camping trip. One picture showed a brown bear helping itself to his food. "What kind of bear is that?" I asked.

"It's called a Kodiak," Scott replied.

"Oh, yeah?" my husband Keith shot back. "And I suppose those white ones in the Arctic are called Polaroids."